


Still My Girl

by MaeveBran



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Challenge Response, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-13
Updated: 2006-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 17:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2629802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeveBran/pseuds/MaeveBran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snippets of Buffy and Angel's relationship for the still_my_girl community.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time For Knowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy muses on her good fortune. (For the prompt: "I thought you had the answers. I thought you really knew.")

Buffy was in awe. She was in the arms of her one true love, and he was human. Her head was pillowed on his chest. His heart beat steady under her ear. He was asleep and she wasn't going to wake him. She was basking in the wonder of it. 

They had talked for hours and then made up for lost time. The time he was evil, the time he spent in Hell, the time they were together, but not really. The months he had been here in LA. So much time had been wasted. 

Maybe not completely. The time had taught them so much but it was time that was gone and could never come back. Questions had been asked and some had been answered. But now was not the moment for bitter memories, now was the moment for making new, better, sweeter memories. Angel alive, truly alive not just undead. 

The question that remained was, did Angel still love her? Really love her? She had asked him during their conversation a few hours ago; he had answered as cryptically as he had, once upon a time, warned her of danger. 

"I thought you had the answers in my actions. I thought you really knew, without my saying." 

This she had taken as a yes. For the time being she would accept it, but some time soon she'd need to hear the words.


	2. Dreaming of Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy has a Slayer dream warning her of danger. (For the prompt: "Somewhere in time.")

Buffy Summers is sitting on the edge of her bed in the house on Revello Drive. It's the week after her seventeenth birthday; on the bed beside her are _his_ leather jacket, Mr. Gordo, and the ring he had given her. She's wearing the cross he had given her when they first met. She is crying.

Suddenly, the scene changes: she is at _his_ mansion, in _his_ bed, asleep in _his_ arms. It's just before senior Prom. She is happy.

And then he's telling that her he's leaving after graduation.

She's in the hallway outside her dorm. Angel is there apologizing for his behavior in L.A. He goes to leave and smiles, says he doesn't like Riley.

She's in the graveyard, in his arms once more. He is offering the comfort she needs. She wants to take it, but knows that if she does, it will be too risky. So she just rests in his arms, basking in the feeling that for a few hours-- just until daylight-- she doesn't have to be the strong one. She can lean on him.

She's on the beach. He comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her; life is harsh, but this feels better. He starts to talk about how he dealt with coming back from Hell and she realizes she can't tell him the truth. He wouldn't understand, but that's ok. He doesn't need to understand. He just needs to be there-- and he is.

She's fighting Caleb and suddenly he's there, holding out his hand to her. He offers to be by her side and kisses her. She's basking again, just being near him; then she realizes she needs him elsewhere. If she doesn't survive this, again, she needs to know that he is still fighting the fight and gaining his redemption. 

He goes.

A few days later she's on his doorstep; she survived. She has to see him and let him know that she can stop an Apocalypse _without_ dying.

And now he's in an alley, with his team beside him. The sky is dark; it is raining, and there is a dragon flying overhead. The alley is filled with thousands of demons rushing at him and his friends. It is a fight he probably can't survive.

Buffy sits bolt upright in her bed in Las Vegas. It was a Slayer dream; she _knows_ this is about to happen. Somewhere-- in time, she hopes-- the Powers that Be know of Angel's danger and are warning her. She throws on some clothes, grabs her keys and rushes off to gather an army of Slayers. 

She only can hope that they will be in time, for she doesn't think she can bear it if Angel dies again.


	3. Not Like Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened when Buffy and Angel met for that talk after she came back from the dead the second time. (For the prompt: "You lost me the moment you left.")

Angel stood waiting in the shadows of the picnic area on the beach. Buffy was coming and what could he say? "Oh, I'm sorry you died again?" "I missed you?" He didn't know. Both were true but they sounded trite. "I'm glad you're back?" That was true, too, but just as trite. Besides, what could he say about his feelings that wouldn't be answered by a "Of course you lost me, you left me first" from Buffy. It would be true, but it wouldn't erase his genuine grief at her death. Nor would it stifle his guilt over that day he took back. 

Thoughts raced through his brain and all he could think was that he had to let Buffy lead the conversation where she needed it to go. He could well remember his own struggle back to the land of the living, or un-living as the case may be, three years ago after his return from centuries in Hell. Buffy had been there for him, and he would be there for her. 

Before he could brood any more, his enhanced vampiric hearing picked up the tread of the Slayer's feet as she ambled down the cement path toward him. He turned and watched her, drinking in the sight. She was just as lovely as ever and the sight broke his no longer beating heart.

"Hey, Buffy," he said as he walked towards her, careful to stay out of the late afternoon sun. Once she reached him, he kissed her cheek in the European manner of greeting.

"Hey, yourself," she said as she sat down at one of the picnic benches. Angel sat down at another across from her. They were silent for a while, each drinking in the sight of the other and taking in the changes their respective battles against evil had wrought. Then she spoke again. "We both know what has been up with me, being dead and all, so what have you been up to?"

Angel almost smiled at that. It was such a Buffy way to broach the subject they were there to talk about. "Well, when Willow brought us the news, we had just come back from rescuing Cordy in Pylea. The Pyleans had made her a Princess, can you believe it?" 

"Well, she always thought she was royalty. She must have enjoyed it." Buffy seemed mildly amused by this info.

"Yeah, but after a week in which she was going to be forced to marry someone and was basically used as a puppet we overthrew the government and came home," Angel replied. "After, you know, Willow..." here Angel's voice nearly broke with the remembered grief of Willow's news. "After Willow told us of your sacrifice, which I'm prodigiously proud of you for making by the way, I went to Sri Lanka to a monastery to try to get over you." 

Here he almost grinned, "But instead, I found a monastery full of demon monks that I of course defeated. You know me, I can't do anything simply."

"I do know you, and I know that there must be more to the story from Pylea, but I won't pry." The beginnings of a smirk played at Buffy's mouth, but then she appeared to remember more serious thoughts. "Angel, I never thanked you for coming, you know-- when-- Mom died. I needed you and you came. I thought I had lost you when you left for LA, and after that stuff with Riley and Faith, but you still came. Thank you."

"I thought I had lost you too, but I could never leave you to grieve by yourself even if you have Dawn now." Angel said earnestly. "And while we're on the subject of Dawn, what happens now that she is no longer the Key?"

"She's my sister or something. The monks made her from my DNA so maybe she's my kid, I don't know. All I need to know is that she's family," Buffy answered.

"Family is important. Nothing is more important than family," Angel agreed, looking down at the ground, remembering his family and how he had killed them.

"Nothing is more important," Buffy agreed as she got up and moved to sit next to him. She put a hand on his arm. "Angel, family is not just blood relatives. Family is also those whom you chose to love. From what Willow tells me, you have quite the family in LA with Wes, Cordy, Gunn, and I guess this girl, Fred."

"Yeah, they are my family," Angel agreed.

"And no matter what, I'll always consider you part of my family," Buffy offered. "We've been through so much, Angel, not to continue to care. And that's family too."

"Yes, it is. I will always consider you part of my family. So Buffy, tell me what is really bothering you." Angel looked up and saw the surprise in Buffy's face. He still had the uncanny ability to read Buffy's face. "Buffy, you know you can tell me anything. I've been there."

"I know. Of all the people I know, you're the one that has come back from the dead as much as I have." Buffy laughed ironically. "A slayer with more in common with a vampire than with her human friends." 

Angel joined in the ironic laughter. "That has always been the case with us, hasn't it?" he continued to prod. "Buffy, you're talking about everything but what really needs to be said. As you said, I know what it's like."

"I'm tired of people trying to cheer me up and make it like it was before. It will never be like it was before. I don't need the constant sympathy." Buffy said. Then she looked down at her watch and stood again, "It's been good seeing you, but I have to be getting home." 

Angel stood and put his arms out and Buffy moved into his embrace. He held her for a minute before she pulled back to look into his whiskey brown eyes. "Thanks for understanding, Angel." 

He looked into her eyes and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before releasing her.

"You're welcome. I'm so glad you are back," he said as they parted ways.


	4. Waiting for the End to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is ending and there is no place that Buffy Summers would rather be than right here, right now. (For the prompt: "There is nothing like you and so why do I even try?"

The world was ending (again) and there is no place that Buffy Summers would rather be than right here, right now. She was at the top of a bell tower on top of an auditorium in the heart of a small college town. The reason Buffy was content has something to do with the fact that this time she was facing the apocalypse with Angel. In fact he had an arm wrapped around her. 

They both had one arm wrapped around the ladder they had just come up from below. They just had to wait for the end and then Willow's spell would kick in and reset the time with them here and they could prevent the end the second time.

"Angel, I'm glad you're here," Buffy whispered.

"There is no place I'd rather be than by your side in a fight. You know that," Angel replied.

"Still, after all we've been through..." her thought trailed off. "I just wanted you to know that though I've tried to move on like you wanted me to, I've found there is no one like you. I couldn't replace you in my heart. So why must I try?"

Angel was speechless. He never thought that Buffy would ever say anything like that to him. He had long ago decided that he could never replace her but to know that she felt the same melted some of the ice around his heart that he had built up since that day six years ago when he had left Sunnydale.

"You don't have to try anymore," Angel whispered back as he bent his head and kissed her. She was hesitant at first, but when Buffy realized that he meant what he had said she returned the kiss with equal passion. 

Sometime into the kiss came a brilliant flash of white light. They broke apart after that.

"Time to get to work," Buffy said with a smile. 

"Let's prevent this apocalypse, then we can discuss the future," Angel agreed.


	5. Acceptable Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel visits Buffy after the battle with the Circle of the Black Thorn. (For the prompt: "If you're not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.")

Angel couldn't believe he was here, in Vegas. The battle for LA was over; Buffy had shown up and helped, but then disappeared again without talking to him. He could guess why, but still he needed to thank her even if she didn't want to talk to him. He really had alienated her and the new Watchers' Council but he need to make amends. 

Angel gathered his courage and rang the bell. He could battle the minions of Hell, no problem, but facing one tiny blonde girl-- woman, actually-- made him quiver with fear. 

Buffy opened the door and gasped. Angel winced, realizing what he must look like. He had made sure that Gunn and Wesley had been moved to hospitals with Illyria (in the guise of Fred) there to watch over them and that Spike was preparing the hotel for occupancy again, but then he had come straight here. No time for bathing the grime of battle off, just the overwhelming need to see Buffy and make sure he hadn't been hallucinating in the midst of battle. 

Angel managed a smile. "Hi, Buffy," he said by way of a greeting. "I . . "

"Hi, yourself." Buffy returned with a smirk. "What did you do? Wipe out the armies of Hell and drive straight here?"

"Something like that." Angel returned the smirk. "Don't suppose I could come in? I can smell the sun is about to rise. I mean, I can burn out here if you really want me to but I'd rather not."

"Of course, come on in, " Buffy stammered, as she must have forgotten just how close he must have cut his drive. "Angel, do you have a bag or something?"

"Yeah, in the backseat," Angel said as he moved past her into the house. Buffy retrieved the duffle and led the way inside.

Angel looked around at the room. It was very white and cool and light, but without lots of windows, thankfully. It was a living room with several comfortable couches and a large television, with a hall branching off to the left. To the right it gave way to a large airy kitchen. That room Angel looked upon with some trepidation as it had many windows and soon would be a death trap for him. 

Buffy came over to where he was standing. "Don't worry, I'm not in the kitchen that much. That's Dawn's territory. You can have the bed in my office at the back of the house. Only one window with a very heavy curtain on it," Buffy assured him as if reading his mind. "The bathroom is this way if you want a shower." She led off down the hall.

"Buffy, I . . " Angel started but Buffy turned toward him.

"Anything you have to say can wait until you've showered the grime of an Apocalypse off," Buffy said, placing his duffle in the bathroom and pointing.

"Thanks," Angel said.

An hour later, Angel was seated on the couch waiting for Buffy, who had run into the kitchen for some coffee. Angel was nervous, after all his track record when talking to Buffy was pretty poor but he was determined that this time it would go better. Finally, Buffy emerged from the kitchen with a tray containing two mugs of coffee, cream, sugar and a bagel for herself. Angel accepted a mug and busied himself putting some cream and four spoonfuls of sugar in his coffee while Buffy settled down at the far end of his couch.

"I wanted to thank you for showing up when you did yesterday," Angel started. "We would have been dead if it wasn't for you and your army of slayers. Not to mention what Willow did for Wesley. Thank you."  
"All I did was return the favor. You were by my side for what was it, four Apocalypses? How could I ignore you in your need? I couldn't. Not if I wanted to live with myself. If you died and I did nothing to stop it . . ." Buffy got choked up.

"I know how that goes. I had to live with that for a few months and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy," Angel said seriously as he scooted a bit closer and faced her. "But I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me from what Giles said when Fred died."

"That was Giles, not me. I was in Rome for a month and didn't find out about it until two days ago. Believe me, Giles won't pull that stunt again," Buffy said angrily. "For the record, I never lost faith that you were doing the right thing. I may not agree with your methods, but I know you and you'd only take over Wolfram and Hart for good reasons. You explained them to me but not to Giles, so I see how he came to the conclusion he did, but he was still wrong."

"Thank you for that. I don't deserve your trust, but thanks," Angel said.

"Now, why are you really here? You didn't drive all this way and risk getting crispified just to thank me for standing by your side. So what is it?" Buffy asked.

"You're right. I didn't. I've had some time to think, about what matters most in my life. It came down to two people, you and my son. Connor is in college at Stanford and has his new family. So I guess I've done right by him. But you, I've hurt over and over by trying to protect you. I came to see if you'll forgive me for my misguided attempts at protecting you," Angel rambled.

This appeared to stun Buffy. Angel had never admitted that he hurt Buffy when he had left and that he did so now was astonishing. She was doing a fine imitation of a stunned fish for a few moments. "Of course I forgive you. I am partly to blame for the hurt I felt. I know now that you were right to leave me. I was too dependent on you and so very young and didn't know what I needed," Buffy said. "But I know now that a normal relationship, the kind you wanted for me, will never work for me."

"Why is that, Buffy?" Angel inquired.

"I'm a slayer. Part of what I do can't be understood by a normal man. Even Riley, demon hunter that he was, never understood what being a slayer meant. Only you and Spike really understood. And before you get all noble and tell me to go to Spike, what he and I had was destructive and I don't want that any more," Buffy explained.

"More destructive than what we had?" Angel jested.

"Yes. You and I never had sex just to feel. Feel anything at all, even disgust at yourself. I used to feel dirty just being with him, and that was an improvement on not feeling anything. You wanted me to be normal but I never found it," Buffy said sardonically. "I guess if you don't risk the unusual you have to settle for ordinary and I can never be ordinary, Angel. Don't you see?"

"I see. I'm not the same man that walked away from you five years ago. I can't promise you much. Especially not perfect happiness." At that both Angel and Buffy smiled sad smiles. "But I can promise you the unusual, and probably acceptable happiness."

"That is a promise I'll hold you to," Buffy said as she set down her coffee cup and moved over to sit next to him. Angel set down his own mug and took her in his arms and kissed her.


	6. Seeing Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Buffy's conversation in the graveyard after burying Joyce. (For the prompt: "He's never really seen me for what I really am.")

Buffy stood staring at the grave as the sun set. Darkness fell and a hand slipped into hers. She knew who it was before she turned to see him.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't come sooner," Angel said as a greeting.

Someone must have called and told him, probably Willow. Just knowing he had come from LA gave her a measure of peace. She turned to him and he opened his arms. She moved into his embrace and started to cry as he held her. 

When the tears had stopped flowing, she eased back and he let her go. "Thanks, Angel," Buffy said. "I'm glad you came."

"You know I'll always be here when you need me." Angel said, then he hemmed and hawed. "Why isn't Finn here?"

Buffy looked at Angel, a little stunned, and then realized that, however he got the news from Sunnydale, he wasn't completely informed on all the events in her life.

"He left me a few weeks ago," Buffy stated simply. "Look, if we're going to catch up, why don't we have a seat over there under the tree?"

"Sure." Angel took her hand as they walked over and sat down. She curled up to his side and his arm went around her.

"We had been having problems, but the thing that took the cake was when Spike took me to see what was really going on."

"Spike is here? Again?" Angel said incredulously.

"Yeah, the Initiative put a chip in his head so he can't hurt humans, so he has been helping out even though he has no soul. He has declared his undying love for me. Can you believe that?" Buffy said, almost laughing.

"William has always had it bad for the ones he can't have," Angel said ruefully as tried to absorb the idea of the blonde vampire loving the slayer. "So, back to Finn. What was really going on?"

"He was visiting vampire whores and letting them suck his blood. He claimed to be trying to see what the attraction was." Buffy stared off into space. 

"Oh," Angel said, not knowing what else to say.

"He always had trouble getting past our past. I think he was jealous of you, Angel. I never told you this, but after he met you he assumed you had gone evil again," Buffy started.

"He thought you had come to LA and that we had . . ." Angel started incredulously.

"Yep. He was so very jealous it wasn't funny. Xander had just explained what exactly had caused you to revert Angelus that time and he thought I went to LA to relive my past. As if I'd risk reliving that moment of my past," Buffy scoffed.

"That is a moment that I never want to relive, Buffy. I don't ever want to hurt you like that. If ever I become Angelus around you, stake me. No hesitation, just stake me and put us both out of our misery," Angel said seriously.

"I'll stake you, but only if Willow isn't around with an Orb of Thesulah," Buffy agreed.

"If Willow is around and ready, then no staking," Angel agreed. "I'm sorry our past broke up you and Finn."

"It wasn't just that. He never really saw me for what I really am. I'm the Slayer, not just a normal girl, and my past is complicated. He never liked the fact that I could wipe the floor with him or that I had more experience with demon hunting or the fact that my ex was a vampire. I think he still had it in his head that I was a 'little lady' that needed protecting," Buffy ruminated.

"You never have needed protecting," Angel agreed. "Well except from Angelus. But even then not much."

"You've always seen me for what I am. I'm grateful for that," Buffy said. "No matter what, you've seen me as I am. Why is that?"

"You're my soul mate. I've lived along while and seen a lot of things. I know exactly what you are. You're a Slayer and my destiny. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't have been here when you got here," Angel stated simply.

"How? Why? What?" asked a confused Buffy.

"I told you two years ago that I saw you called," he said.

Buffy nodded. 

"Whistler had found me eating rats in New York and almost starving. He told me that my destiny could go either way, but that I needed to come to California and see you. I saw you called and I saw you at home when your were parents fighting. I knew then I wanted to help you and that you were my destiny. So how can I not see who you really are?" Angel whispered the last. 

Buffy looked up and snuggled a little closer to him. "Thank you, Angel. You say the sweetest things and they are more dear because you really mean them." Buffy sighed. "I just want to rest here and bask in your presence." 

And that was what she did, until just before dawn.


	7. A Normal Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Angel make plans to go on a 'normal' date. (For the prompt: "Something is better than nothing.")

It was the end of another long patrol. Angel was keeping Buffy company, as Faith was still out of commission after the accident. Patrol had been successful with three vamps killed. 

"Buffy, what do you say to going out some night? Maybe to a movie?" Angel asked tentatively. 

Since his return, their relationship had been different. At first, it was because he had returned just as she had begun trying to move on. Then Spike had pointed out that the friends thing they had been trying to believe they had, wasn't possible. Now they were trying to be in a relationship, but they both knew it couldn't go any farther. She supposed that something was better than nothing, but this something was of the difficulty. Buffy just wanted to curl up in his arms and let things progress, but no, Angel would lose his soul. Was she ever going to have a normal life?

"Sure, That would be nice," Buffy agreed. That was one of the things she and Angel had never done, gone on a normal date.

"Then how about I stop by your place just after sundown and we can walk to the theater?" Angel suggested, relieved that she didn't think the idea was too corny.

"That sounds like a great idea," Buffy acquiesced. Angel smiled, then leaned down and kissed her tenderly. Finally, he released her and they said their goodnights. 

Buffy turned to go home and Angel stood watching her with a smile on his face.


End file.
